The vaguest sensation

Every morning, when I eventually awake, I have the vaguest sensation that I have lost something. What it is I'm not certain, only that it was once precious to me, and now it's gone.

Life is so often an endless line. I look down and there it is at my feet, and I can pick it up lie a string and tug it. It flows away from me, straight, true, simple, and it goes for ever. I can't see where it ends, only where it disappears into the infinity of the horizon, where all things are so indistinct that none of them can be picked out. It reminds me of the endlessness of the Dakotas, as the 'Builder speeds eastward.

Then again, now and then, you get something distinct that shows up. Last week it was S., dodging bullets, freaking me out. I've stood by and watched cars wreck into each other before: I refuse to do so again. And this week? R, dodging bullets too. Still don't know how hers will turn out. What is this with Death stalking about me? And it doesn't help that I keep getting the urge to do something truly reckless. I was well within the bonds of good behavior with S. about, though I'm sure I scared him a couple times. The only time I was put on edge was on the gravel road, but it was only for a second, and we were far from in serious danger. I am not *that* much of a fool. But could I be? Could I be if there was no passenger beside me?

Now there's a metaphor and a half for you. Passengers.

*pause*

During the aforementioned pause, (brought to you by Orangeandblackistan), I called the Dragon. She wants me to come in for a second interview (?) next week, Tuesday morning. Odd. Promising? I don't know. I do know I'd like to just know at this point.

I'm getting tired of tugging on this string.