worryworts.

There are more than one in my life, but there is one particular one in mind. Geeze they're tiring. Everything is a disaster. No perspective. Fundamentally it comes from a lack of control. Most of us realize that's just how life is, and get over it, and worry about the things we can change.

Anyway... sometimes I feel like I am stuck in some kind of soap opera. And I realize the value of careers and suchlike, suddenly, is not really all that important. Yes, it matters. Yes, getting ahead is cool, achieving is cool, success is cool. But there is a way more personal standard that has to be there, or all the success in the world matters squat. I knew this all along, I just got so caught up in the joy of the job that I lost sight of it, until things started getting just as screwed up as anywhere else.

The question isn't if I'll ever leave the magazine. It's when. And more importantly, what will I have when I do? What will my life be like? Because it's what you come home to that really counts.