Talkies

While playing with A's layout up in Pukeitallup, my pocket rings with a distinctive tone I assigned to only one person, and who I have not talked to for so long that I started a bit when I first heard it. I silenced it, but not before DR -- who'd heard it before -- caught the ringtone. And I realize that RO is right, I need to end this, I need to talk to him. I don't want to do it over the phone. Much less at the drop of a hat But I need to work this all out with him, and face-to-face, man-to-man. I don't know if this means forgiveness and repairs -- I don't want either, yet I am willing to accept both if that means that there is an end, and I can move on without this shadow over my life. But it also occurs to me that some things just never get resolved, and some shadows are just part of getting older. Everyone has a history.

Regardless, things must be said. And soon. Not sure exactly how soon, but soon. And frankly, it's wrong of me to put it off much further, because it's wrong for me to do that to him, not because I am so much concerned for his feelings, but I am concerned not to be the kind of person who behaves like that.